The Ten Commandments of a Respectable Academician

This is something I wrote ages back in middle school. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, it is still applicable in my life. So here goes...

1. Thou shalt sleep in class.
2. Thou shouldst be wholly present in body and soul for all class activities that consist of annoying thy comrades & harassing the professor.
3. Thou shalt indulge in gluttony when it comes to the lunches of thy comrades.
4. Thou shalt hate some of thy neighbours.
5. Thou shalt propagate this holy message by means of desk correspondence or notes.
6. Thou shouldst not be caught propagating the holy message.
7. Thou shalt never commit the paramount sin - paying attention.
8. Thou shalt never be seen taking notes as God spake unto Gates and said, “Let there be Powerpoint.”
9. If thy heart be pure, thou shalt never whisper or talk in class – thou shalt leave.
10. Thou shalt worship us, the authors, as thy creator and cower before us in fear and obedience.